The worm is now 6 months, this milestone is surprisingly emotional for me. It means that we have survived, sleep deprivation, illness, moving house & looking after a child.
I am so proud that until now Worm has only ever had breast milk, not one drop of formula has passed her lips. I have suffered from 5 diagnosed cases of Mastitis, I have suffered oversupply issues & also under supply however I never lost my passion for providing my baby with the antibody rich sustenance that only I can provide.
I’m stubborn like that I guess. I secretly have loved the fact that I am the only person who can provide her food. Other people can change her, look after her & play with her, but until recently I was the only one who could feed her.
This in itself has obviously caused some challenges, I have missed on on a few night time functions but I figure it was worth it. Even on my darkest days I have never regretted breast feeding my girl.
I admit that the past 6 months haven’t been easy, there are days that I have honestly thought I could give her up & happily go back to work. Days where a deep darkness have overcome me & I have done nothing but sit on the couch watching her play. Wishing I could just go to sleep. Wishing that someone would take her away & entertain her for me. In these days particularly keeping her fed via breastfeeding kept me going, the snuggles every 2 hours, looking into her eyes, feeling her soft little hands.
I know believe that I will certainly be able to continue breastfeeding until she turns one, that is now my goal, from there who knows, maybe I will continue feeding her, maybe not.
All I know is that my little girl has kept me going, as I have kept her going.