March 13th, 2012 | Posted by Sara in Being a mum | Little Human | Milestones

I’ve admitted in the past that I have sometimes doubted my ability to look after Worm, and even that at times I have wished that someone would come and take her away to give me a break. Well you know what they say, be careful what you wish for……

I’m going back to work, this was always the plan, in fact I am actually going back to work a few months later than we originally hoped. I will be working 2 days per week in a role similar to my previous one. I am scared, excited, nervous and filled with trepidation about going back, firstly because I’ve gotten used to reporting to myself and secondly because for the first time in nearly 8 months my baby will be in someone elses regular care.

The thought that a stranger will be looking after my child terrifies me. I find myself asking questions about the child care centres evacuation plans, what do they do incase of a dangerous person entering, what about if a child is ill if; the parent doesn’t have substitute care, are the staff qualified, how are they qualified, what will they do if Worm wont eat?. All these fears are now arising, some are rational fears, some completely irrational.

I fear that with Worm being looked after by someone else for 8 hours a day I’ll lose ‘something’. I know it’s only 2 days per week, but it’s the start of her growing up to be an independent person.

The biggest fear I have though, is in relation to Worms eating, she barely eats any solid food and is still refusing the bottle. The only reliable source of food she has is me. The care centre is aware of this, and they have promised me that if she refuses to eat for them they will call me down & not let her go hungry. I am left wondering again if I am making the right decision to go back to work, maybe I should stay home with her forever, forgetting my own career ambitions, my own sanity, just so she can eat her chosen food. This I can recognize as unrealistic, and I know that the chances of her taking a bottle of expressed milk when I am not there is high, and I know that the staff are experienced and that Worm will receive the best care possible.

Time will tell…….


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6 Responses

  • Becci says:

    Oh Sara, I totally empathise. I was exactly the same a few months back. Miss M didn’t take the bottle so I had to go into childcare to feed her every lunch time. I was petrified she would ‘forget’ me or I would lose a bit of that special bond with her, but you know what? I would say it’s got stronger. You relish the time you have together so much more.
    It was hard the first few weeks as she got so upset as she didn’t understand I was coming back. But now she is so much more comfortable there and this morning didn’t even flinch when I left.
    I think it is so healthy for her to be apart from me for a bit of time, her social skills have improved so much and she has really come out of her shell.
    Best of luck with it all Hun 🙂 xxx
    Becci recently posted..The A to Z of me challenge – pass it on!My Profile

  • I feel for you. I will be returning to work in about three months and I am dreading it. I am hoping to go back only three days per week. I do like the idea of having some adult time again, but I don’t want it at the expense of losing something special with my baby boy. I don’t think there is any other solution for me…I’m planning to just live with the discomfort. I hope you can sort out the Worm’s feeding. Good luck 🙂

  • rachael says:

    I have to say childcare has been really postive for us (but we do have a fantastic childcare that is just up the road from work) but the boys love it and about the food, peer pressure can be a good thing as they will see everyone else sitting and eating so they do it to. But they do things that i never thought to do with them at home and they make friends. lukas told us tonight that he has 2 best friends at childcare it is so cute. And the best part of my day is when i pick them up and they come running up and give the biggest hug, love it. It will time, it was hard in the beginning but it does get easier. Good luck

  • MsMandie says:

    I have had a similar experience to Rachael. It is really (really) hard to go back to work and leave your bubba at Childcare, but I promise, it does get easier. Mine only goes one day a week, and was not even walking when she first went. Childcare has done wonders for her socialisation (esp. with her being an only child), and the peer pressure and “competition” when it comes to eating has been great. When I picked her up this afternoon, she kissed and cuddled all her little friends goodbye and told me all about her, “fun day”. Good luck with the return to work 😉
    MsMandie recently posted..Why Shopping Ain’t What It Used To BeMy Profile

  • Jess says:

    Oh it must be so hard for you! Thankfully I have never had this dilemma.
    I am very stressed about leaving the kids for DPCON though…
    Jess recently posted..Murder She WroteMy Profile

  • Felicakes says:

    What you have voiced out is every returning back to work mum’s concern. I was the same way with mine when I went back to work after 6 months of Maternity Leave.

    The Lil Tiger was not eating much solids and didnt know how to drink from a bottle but the carers at her centre were brilliant! They send a report back home with her everyday and taught her how to eat and sleep and gave her a routine.

    I think finding a centre that you are comfortable with and staff that knows what they are doing is important. 🙂

    I spend at least 15 minutes with her when I drop her off before I say goodbye and the staff knows and welcome my choice to stay.

    Hugss. You will be fine but if you nee someone to talk to you can always talk to me hehehe